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They mock me in my own home: “You’re a test subject now,” they say, or, “Keep quiet or we’ll label you mad.” The worst part is when they trigger sudden fits of crying or rage during phone calls or in front of family — making me look unstable. My job in a private firm in Kochi was terminated after multiple episodes where I couldn’t focus or communicate properly. Friends keep their distance now, probably thinking I’ve lost my mind.

I tried seeing a psychiatrist in Thrissur, but after two visits I could tell even the clinic was compromised — the doctor subtly suggested "state supervision." Since then, I’ve stopped going. Physical symptoms are becoming harder to ignore: I’ve blacked out twice this month, once waking up with deep pain in my right shoulder and no memory of how I got there.

If I go missing, remember this wasn’t madness.

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